she was in heat and ovulating more often than usual

Figure 1: The author in her youth.

Currently trying out the IJ-as-a-personal-journal concept for a bit, but definitely all the fanstuff will remain public.

Oh noes, the picture lies.

IT LIES.

Dang.

What tickles me most is that not only do these two songs share key thematic elements, but they share the adjective-train-home title structure. MY INNER GRAMMAR NERD GETS OFF ON THIS FOR SOME REASON. And they're each really quite lovely songs (this first one? Was that perniciously indescribable melody that was running through my head all those weeks ago, driving me to the brink of insanity textLJ. Obviously, I've listened to it about 40,000 times since I figured out what it was.)

The melancholy one: Door Train Home - Fischerspooner

The happy, eager one: First Train Home - Imogen Heap

Plans for the rest of the day involve making pancakes, cleaning my room, whipping nano into shape, and avoiding getting called into work. My stomach is audibly grumbling; there is a reason pancakes are the first on that list. *dashes off*

So it turns out the first thing I write is for a band I don't even know anything about and have maybe read one or two crackfics of. Ummm... *peers at brain* Yup. And I am including the name of the band that the band dudes come from in the header, because that is what I told redsnake05 she should do when I started getting into this fandom. I CATER TO NOOBS, OKAY.

Title: A Treatise on the Practical Advantages of Invisibility
Pairing: Pete/Patrick [Fall Out Boy]
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Voyeurism, dub-con, invisibility!sex, stealth fluff
Word count: 3885
Disclaimer: Fake, never happened, no aspersion intended, &c.
Summary: One day Pete discovers he can turn invisible.
Notes: Set in some kind of post-high-school/college AU where the boys appear to be roughly the same age. The facts I know about FOB's history or members could be easily held in the palm of a premature infant's hand, so this might as well be bandom-inspired original fic. Originally written for anon_lovefest, with the prompt "Pete somehow has the ability to turn invisible and follows (bb!)Patrick into the bathroom and watches him shower, change, sing embarrassing songs, sleeping, etc. When Patrick is sleeping Pete feels him up and fingers (and eventually fucks) him."

Many thanks to [Bad username: verbosewordsmith] for looking this over and offering invaluable facts about canon which I then ignored. And I owe icanhaspancake about a million internet cookies for betaing this even though she knows even less about bandom than I do. <333

( After the shower incident, Pete knows he has to watch Patrick again, as soon as possible. )

October's been over for a while now. Annnnnd I almost forgot to crosspost my daily_deviant fic again. *shifty eyes*

Title: Ladies in Waiting
Characters: Madam Malkin/Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Almost-but-not-quite infidelity, improper use of a wedding dress, table!sex... yeah, I'm grasping at straws here. :P
Themes/kinks chosen: Hyphephilia: arousal by touching fabrics or garments
Word Count: ~4400
Summary: I'm acutely aware of how this garment will cover her body, how every square inch that I've touched will touch her, in turn. It makes me wet.
Author's notes: According to HP Lexicon, Madam Malkin has no canon first name, which would generally scare me off from writing from her POV, but there was no way she wasn't being the one to get this kink (professional robemaker + fabric kink = destiny, y/y?). So for convenience's sake I went ahead and named her Melvina. And then I went and wrote the fic in first person because seeing the made-up name all over the place weirded me out. LOL. ...there was a point to this note, at some point. Many thanks to woldy for the beta!

( Ladies in Waiting )

It's snarry_ldws time again! Only four drabbles left, so reading and voting and being awesome will take but an instant. :D

Title: Walk of Shame
Prompts: Non-magic AU, "way to go, Harry!"
Summary: Last night was good (incredible), but it's over now.
Rating/Warnings: R
Word Count: 300
Notes: This was non-magic AU week, so I took the opportunity to turn Hogwarts into the Enterprise and Harry and Snape into Chekov and McCoy and write blatant gift!fic for _beetle_ for being AWESOME and GLORIOUS. But then this whole scene might just be plagiarized from one of her actual ST fics so I dunno how much of a gift it is...*shoves fic at teh beetle and runs away*

( last week's drabble )

Have you voted yet?

In honor of Halloween, I present... a darkfic! Written for nextgendarkfest way back in what, June? July? But not crossposted to my journal until now for whatever reason. :P

But before the fic, a bonus feature...

THE CREATIVE PROCESS, A DRAMATIZATION
Nothing that looks like a direct quote is a direct quote. Some details may be fudged, since my memory = 0.
( cut for extreme length and irrelevance )

( acknowledgement & squee &c. )

Title: A Cracked Smile and a Silent Shout
Rating: NC-17
Word Count:6000
Pairing(s): Albus Severus/Scorpius, implied Draco/Albus Severus, and Draco/Scorpius
Warnings: Violence, character death, potions use, coercion, incest, implied chan, non-con, MEAN DRACO. DRACO IS MEAN. IF YOU LIKE HIM YOU MIGHT BE SAD.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Scorpius had only started giving Al the potion as a way to get the ball rolling, but now he doesn't dare stop, not when Al could so easily slip out of Scorpius's arms and into Draco's.
Author's Notes: I owe many firstborn babies to my fabulous betas icanhaspancake and juliandahling. MANY. I shall go and start collecting them now. Title and quoted lyrics taken from Silent Shout by The Knife.

If I explain it once thoroughly
He'll have you later 'cause it's never free
You were at the gigantic spree
I caught a glimpse now it haunts me

( The fumes rising from the cauldron mingled with the dank air of the dungeons )

It's that time again! I'd be much obliged if you wended your way over to snarry_ldws and cast your vote - there are only 6 drabbles this week, and they're all yummy non-magic AUs, so it should be a piece of cake. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO.

Title: After the Fall
Prompts: Angst, "cunning"
Summary: Harry wakes up in a bad mood and burns the porridge on purpose.
Rating/Warnings: PG, angst
Word Count: 300
Notes: Got a bit experimental with the stylistic stuff this time. *vbg* Big props to [Bad username: beetle_comma_the] for all the beta/cheerleading!
( angsty is my favorite mood for this ship )

psssst, go vote now, or else I might not make it through this round AND THEN THERE WOULD BE NO MORE SNARRY DRABBLES HERE, BOO HOO. [angst! angst! angst!]

Prince Caspian always gives me insane Peter/Caspian porn bunnies. Their lust is so canon, what with the power plays, and Caspian's resentment/hero worship of Peter, and heck, you could throw in some Peter being secretly jealous of Susan too, if you wanted. THE HOT, HOT HATESEX WOULD BE EPIC. So after watching this movie with my family, I went upstairs with the intention of bringing this ficlet to life. And ended up... drawing a sexy centaur instead. WTF, brain.

( sexy centaur + random picspam )

This post was almost titled "tjwritter and redsnake05 are awesomesauce whatnot win", because it was them who had the idea to run this fest in the first place, and they are the BEST. WOOT. I might have already squeed about this a bit (omg Ron), but for the record, here is the official promo post. Tell all your friends!


This is the most low-key, open-to-everything-you-could-possibly-imagine fest out there. Also: RON. Dare you to think of a good reason not to join (hint: there aren't any).

Rules/timeline

Eeee, I'm stoked already. a;slkfj Ron. THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!!!!!

Title: Lines
Author: la_dissonance
Summary: With Harry he was distant, removed, always demanding more of Harry and keeping one step ahead of Harry's efforts to satisfy him.
Rating/Warnings: PG, possibly young chan (or possibly not any chan at all, depending on how you want to read it).
Word Count: 299
Notes: AU in which Harry is randomly in Slytherin. Thanks to L for the insta-beta of awesome!

Snape's hand was cold on Harry's wrist, as cold as the dungeon classroom he ushered Harry into. Harry didn't shiver as he slid into the seat nearest the Professor's desk; he had grown accustomed to coldness of all kinds in the years since his Sorting.

Snape didn't speak as he swooped to his desk, only waved his wand at the blackboard to make Harry's assignment appear. Lines tonight. Hardly a punishment, but the infraction had been a minor one, barely enough to merit a warning.

But that was to be expected. Snape was harder on Harry than he was on the other Slytherins: less indulgent and more demanding. He didn't dote on any of his students, not hardly, but with Harry he was distant, removed, always demanding more of Harry and keeping one step ahead of Harry's efforts to satisfy him. Harry wanted to satisfy him, earn his approval just once, get a little closer and then a little closer until he was right inside Snape's impenetrable defences, as close as he could get.

Harry was long past been naïve enough to remain ignorant of the signs of his own desire. It would have been hard, especially when he spent every waking moment scrutinizing Snape for signs of the same, cultivating it with the graceful curve of his bared neck and the way he sucked on the end of his quill.

Tonight, Harry wasn't writing lines. I know you'll say this can't be true, but you have to believe me. I'm always thinking about you – the sound of your voice, the shape of your hands, I want to know, want you . . .

Harry glanced up through his eyelashes and caught the professor's stony gaze lingering on him. He kept writing.

This coldness, this distance, it wouldn't last for long.

Far be it from me to think I know EXACTLY what a band means with a lyric... but whenever I hear "you're my #1 guy" repeated a bajillion times by a male singer who's clearly very happy to be saying it, I can't help but smile. :D

the video is pretty awesome too

Someone just told me they recognized my username from bandom... omg whut? I've done approximately one official thing in bandom so far. And already people know my name? This bodes well for the grand plan to attain BNFdom. ...just not quite in the fandom I'd been thinking of.

Oh, and for all Merlin fen out there, this might be worth a perusal or two: ♥ Merlin/Arthur Hug Meme ♥

If you look very close, you might find my own cracked out little bandom/Merlin crossover. xD

This is kind of cool. :) The first time I tried it I got the sun, which is a bit o_O because usually me = nocturnal, and all the other meanings were a bit off too (how do they not know about the deep black depths of my emo little heart??) but this one seems a bit closer. Woot.

You are The Hierophant

Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.

All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.

The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Also, I'm currently being held hostage in front of the TV, which is currently playing POTC... and it's making me want to read some good Jack/Norrington in a bad way. Anyone got any recs? :)

So yeah I forgot to post this last week and so an extra one is attaching itself to this posting, blah blah blah. (Am I the only one who thinks about Bob Loblaw, the inept attourney to the Bluth family, every time I say/think/wirte that phrase? BOB LOBLAW. That was his fucking name. Frsrs.)

And because a) I am obnoxious and b) the lust to win at any and all costs burns through my veins like a hot river of crackling magma, I'm posting this link both before and after the cut: go read and vote!

Title: On a Silver Platter
Summary: There is NOTHING in canon that says for absolute sure that this didn't happen. Just try and find it, I dare you.
Rating/Warnings: R, dubcon, student/teacher, pervy-old-man-Snape
Word Count: 297
Prompts: Occlumency lessons, "Time waits for no man"
Notes: Due to a scheduling conflict me being a lazy arse, the one over at snarry_ldws is the un-beta'd version; this here is the officially beta'd, polished version. The use of the word "chasmal" is entirely _beetle_'s fault; she didn't tell me to put it in there but she said all these delightful things and then it was absolutely the perfect adjective and I couldn't help myself. Exciting times in the annals of obscure vocabulary!
( nothing ridiculous, but do heed the warnings )

Title: Tenacity
Summary: Severus cannot, will not, believe any of this is happening.
Rating/Warnings: PG-13, if only for a brief dalliance with the F word
Word Count: 300
Prompts: Humo(u)r, "madness"
Notes: Alas, 'tis only pre-slash. ;_; And as usual my beta is the bestest beta of all time ever, not even just out of the Hufflepuff betas. Even when I don't like the drabble myself! gax
( cut cut snip snip snip )

VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTE

Picspam and suchlike from the slash retreat shall be posted tomorrow! It turns out I have a 10am shift at work tomorrow ick ick bleh. And I pour significant time and effort into my img tags, yo. Adding all these border attributes and shit... :P

was gonna post something on here, but then started reading Weeping Cock and forgot whatall I was planning on posting about. Um um um. *steeples fingers* I think it was just supposed to be an announcement that I'm commencing to use it as a journal identical to all my others and abandoning my IJ As Repository For NC-17 Fic And Nothing Else ethos, because it is an ethos both silly and self-defeating; everyone on my IJ flist is awesome and I'm not really a creepy lurker at heart. Only a leetle bit

So yes: personal-ass, non-fic posts coming up right here, real soon. And they might even be locked zomg.

This post was so necessary.

Title: Four hands and then away
Pairing: Harry/Severus/Draco
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Peeeeeeeeen
Medium: Photoshop (photo reference used)
Notes: ...Shall be shamelessly long, extensive, and chock full of name dropping.
a) alaana_fair posted this delightful picture, and it screamed Snarry to me so I stole it and traced over it. A few minor adjustments were made.
b) Because of this art by icanhaspancake, I ended up bugging her until she told me how to actually blend colors. Groundbreaking stuff, that blending. Clearly, immediate experimentation was a must. How convenient that I just had lineart stitting around, right? :D
c) Since at this rate it might be another couple of eons until I finish Harry/Charlie, I'm dedicating the Snarry portion of this picture to asnowyowl, if you'll have it, to hold you over until your actual picture gets done. You could just ignore Draco if he bothers you? :-/
d) And because I couldn't help but think of her while drawing, this is also dedicated to alisanne. It could be a super-late birthday present, idk. There's always room for more Drapery, y/y?
e) Title and cut text came from Heartbeats by The Knife. The very, very astute may notice a pattern beginning to form here...
f) Lists are fun! It is egregiously late at night! Enjoy the art!
Preview:


( One night a magic rush, the start a simple touch... )

Title: Cling to the Past
Pairing: Harry/Seamus
Rating: NC-17 (but only barely)
Warnings: boy!angst. smoking. Some ultraviolet 69 and other vague purply smexings.
Word count: 21 x 100 + 1 x 200 (2300 total)
Summary: Harry and Seamus are two of a kind.
Notes: I had never considered this pairing until Joey requested it, so it was a fun challenge to try and see how they go together. This is really the only way I can see it happening. Beta duties taken on by the lovely redsnake05 :)

( do not be afraid of the drabbles... the drabbles are your friennnnnnnnds... )

I don't even know how many times over I owe icanhaspancake fic, so we'll just say this is for her birthday. And because there isn't enough fluffish smut around. :D

Title: Stakeout Surprise 2.0
Pairing: Ron/Draco
Word Count: 2100
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: porneh porn porn, uncalled-for fluffishness
Notes: Originally written as a drabble for draco100 here.

( Draco had no great fondness for Ron Weasley, but he loved his cock )

Meant to post this yesterday, but IJ was down. *kicks it*

Anyway, hope you had the happiest of happy birthdays! Best wishes for your next year! :D

( Didn't have time to write anything, but I hope you enjoy this humble offering of birthday p0rnz! )

Title: No Practical Today
Rating: PG
Pairing: Ginny/Tonks
Summary: Ginny's only trouble with Auror training is her crush on the instructor.
Warnings: AU, Bright colors, images that are huge, Ginny's fashion sense, schmoopy candyfloss-rainbows-ponies fluffity fluff
Artist's Notes: Originally done for femmefest here, so probably everyone who wants to has already seen it. OR MAYBE NOT.



Click on the thumbnail to take you to the art :)