Current mood:	hungry
Entry tags:	! fic, *slash, pairing: oliver/percy, rating: nc-17

birthday fic: A Delightful Bedroom Romp
Title: A Delightful Bedroom Romp
Pairing: Oliver/Percy
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: the usual + formatting weirdness of doom
Word count: 2500, sort of. It depends...
Summary: Percy and Oliver are roommates, and they've never had sex--until one day, they do. (And how!)
Notes: trubbleclef, I don't know quite whether to apologize for the strangeness or enjoin you to enjoy it all the more so because of the WTF. I had originally decided I didn't have time for even a drabble (I don't!), but then I got the bright idea of throwing together a few smutty scenarios into a quiz and making a crackish choose-your-own smut drabble, which should have taken about 5 minutes. (Percy fancies Oliver. Do they fuck? y/n) But noooo, the quiz boxes took over my brain and this is what happened. I don't have you in my gift fic spreadsheet, so I just went and picked my favorite pairing you write, so if you don't like this, let that be a lesson to you. >:D

And at some point, this turned less crackish, though it still waxes purple in places. *cough*



1 Nothing would ever have happened between Percy and Oliver - besides normal friend things, that is - if Percy hadn't come back from the library early that one time and walked in on Oliver naked in their shared bedroom,

» toweling himself off after a shower (go to 2)
» wanking (go to 2)
» reading a beefcake magazine (go to 2)
» fingering himself (go to 2)
» sniffing Percy's boxers (go to 2)

2 Percy was, naturally, a bit shocked. He knew it was normal, but still, he'd never pictured Oliver doing that. Still reeling a bit, he

» quietly slipped out the door before Oliver noticed him. (go to 8)
» let his hand drop to the growing bulge in his trousers. (go to 3)
» cleared his throat, making Oliver pause in his activities and look up. (go to 3)
» crept up behind Oliver, not knowing quite what he was doing, and slid his arms around Oliver's waist. (go to 5)
» hovered by the door, unable to take his eyes off the delicious sight, and without meaning to, he let out an embarrassingly loud groan. (go to 3)

3 Somehow Oliver sensed him standing there. "Hey there, Perce," he said, his voice sounding lower than usual.

There was a pause as he looked Percy up and down, and Percy was afraid for a moment that Oliver would be mad at him for seeing what he shouldn't have. Oliver only smiled slowly and said, "Come over here."

Percy swallowed and hastened to comply. Once in such close proximity to such a naked Oliver, though, he was

» unable to stop himself from doing something rash. (go to 4)
» seized by nerves again, and he shuffled away. (go to 2)

4 Oliver opened his mouth to speak, but before he could get a word out, Percy

» reached out and traced Oliver's plump lower lip with his thumb. (go to 5)
» grabbed the back of his neck and mashed their lips together in a clumsy, slightly painful, yet entirely brilliant kiss. (go to 5)
»surged forward, knocking Oliver off balance and landing on top of him with an 'oof'. (go to 5)

5 "Well, that certainly makes my job easier," Oliver chuckled softly. He kissed Percy slowly and sweetly, as if they had all the time in the world and were going to make good use of all of it, but the kiss soon sped up until it was all urgent lips and molten tongues.

They were breathing heavily when they finally broke the kiss, and Oliver stopped Percy with a hand on his chest when he leaned in for another round. "Mind losing some of those clothes, mate?"

Percy didn't mind at all. He leapt up and disrobed in the shortest amount of time he'd ever done, and pressed himself back against Oliver, the glide of their naked bodies exhilarating. He nipped Oliver's lip and then they were kissing again, and oh, Percy could do this forever.

As if able to read his mind, Oliver said, "You want to just kiss forever, or what? I can think of about forty thousand other things we could be doing right now."

"God, me too," Percy said, his mind suddenly full of possibilities.

"Yeah?" said Oliver. "Like what? Tell me."

» "Er, never mind, kissing's good for now," Percy said, struck by a sudden and ill-timed bout of nerves. (go to 8)
» "You ever given a bloke a blow job?" Percy asked. God, if that mouth felt so good on his own, imagine how it might feel elsewhere? (go to 6)
» Not knowing if he'd have another chance - maybe Oliver would decide he didn't like Percy that way after this one time? - Percy decided to get the most out of it. "I want you to fuck me," he breathed. (go to 7)
» Oliver's hardness dug into Percy's thigh, and Percy's mind instantly flew back to what he'd seen when he walked in the room: that velvet shaft standing up from its nest of brown curls, slightly flushed, looking perfectly edible. "I want to suck you off," Percy said. (go to 9)
» "This is pretty good for right now," Percy mumbled, moving his lips to brush against Oliver's neck before sucking gently. "Just... more, maybe." He tilted his hips and ground his erection against Oliver's hip suggestively. (go to 10)

6 "Oh, have I ever." Oliver smiled predatorily and flipped Percy over, his hands spreading Percy's legs wide and lingering on his thighs.

Before Percy could process what was happening, Oliver's lips had closed around the head of his dick, sucking lightly. Percy's hips bucked, and Oliver didn't still him, just took him all down, then bobbed his head a few times until Percy was nearly incoherent with need. He pulled off with a pop and began to lick languid stripes up the length of Percy's cock, and Percy could have screamed.

When he finally took Percy in his mouth again, swallowing him down to the root, Percy was undone, and cried out as his balls tightened and he came in long spasms down his friend's throat. After the last tremors had passed, Oliver wiped his lips with the back of his hand and kissed Percy's flank.

» "Want to try doing me now?" he asked. Percy might have jumped up a bit too enthusiastically at that prospect. "Yes!" (go to 9)
» He kissed Percy's navel next, and moved up his chest, pausing to lick a nipple and nip his collarbone on the way. He hovered over Percy's face, his lips a teasing almost-pressure. "I've still got a bit of a..." he ground his hips against Percy's to make his problem evident. "Wanna...?" "Oh, yes," Percy said, not caring what he was agreeing to. He felt himself growing hard again, ridiculously fast. (go to 10)
» He licked the crease between Percy's thigh and groin next, and then moved lower to let his lips linger on the corner of a buttock. His next kiss still came as a complete surprise. "Merlin, Oliver!" Percy cried out. "I was thinking," Oliver said, sounding ridiculously composed in comparision. "Wanna fuck now?" There was only one thing Percy could really have said at that point. "Hell yes." (go to 7)
» "God, that was good," Percy breathed. "You're good." Oliver smiled as he slid up to wrap his arms around Percy. "Wait to say that until you've had more than one time to go on, eh? This could have been a fluke for all you know." Percy looked into Oliver's eyes. "You mean... again, sometime?" Oliver nodded. "Again, whenever you like." (go to 8)

7 "I like the way you think," Oliver purred. He prepared Percy with fingers and lips and that tongue; damn it, Percy was already in heaven.

"I'm going to go in now; just try to stay relaxed," he said.

Percy hooked his legs over Oliver's shoulders and tried to do just that, though it was hard with Oliver's body hovering over him like that, the thing of beauty that it was. The head of Oliver's dick nudged against Percy's opening, and he pushed it in with tiny rocks of his hips, going so slowly Percy thought he might go insane. When he was finally all the way inside, Percy felt... not bad, no, but weird, and he wasn't sure.... then Oliver began to move, whispering things like Alright, Perce? and Hang on, it gets better, and then it did get better, and then it got much better, and soon Percy was arching up to match Oliver's thrusts.

"Gonna -" Oliver gasped, and he took Percy's cock in his large hand and pulled it in time to his strokes. Percy's orgasm sent Oliver over the edge, and as waves of pleasure washed over him, Oliver slammed forward one more time and then stilled, his face scrunching up as he released a flood of unfamiliar warmth deep inside Percy.

"That was... fuck, Oliver," was all Percy could say as he pulled Oliver into a kiss.

A little while later, Percy chuckled. "Look at that - looks like someone's ready for another go already."

Oliver looked between them, where they were both already half-hard again. "Fancy something different this time?"

» Percy hummed, considering. "Find your wand for a cleaning charm and I'll go down on you." (go to 9)
» Percy grinned as he pulled Oliver closer. "Oh, yeah. Nothing fancy, though." (go to 10)
» Percy looked between Oliver's smiling mouth and his own erection several times, and then groaned when Oliver just continued to grin infuriatingly. "Have you ever given a bloke a blow job?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. (go to 6)
» "I dunno," Percy said with regret. "What if someone walks in?" "Oh, alright," Oliver sighed and heaved himself off the bed. He gave Percy a lopsided smile as he tossed him his shirt. "Next time, then." (go to 8)

8 THE END

9 "Damn, Percy, talk to me like that all the time and I'll be putty in your hands," Oliver groaned.

"I'll keep it in mind," Percy said, aiming at a leer but breaking down. He slid down Oliver's body and Oliver spread his legs for him, framing the by now rock-hard flesh at their joining.

"Impatient much?" Percy quipped, nearly too distracted by the sight of what was on offer to maintain a humorous tone. Oliver's cock was fucking gorgeous, and Percy didn't care how ridiculous that sounded. He licked his lips, unable to decide where to start.

"God, don't be such a tease already," Oliver whined, and Percy decided to just dive right in. He pressed open-mouthed kisses along Oliver's shaft, steadying the other side with his hand. The drop of pre-come on the tip was surprisingly bitter on Percy's tongue as he enveloped the head in his mouth, and he swirled his tongue around in a tight circle, trying to lap up every last trace.

"God, Percy, if you keep that up for one more second..."

Percy grinned, but he didn't want this to be over so soon, so he mouthed down the other side of Oliver's shaft and then back up again, taking his time. His hand drifted to cup Oliver's balls, and he rolled them gently as he worked. Oliver was making the most delightful little sounds by now, his legs shifting restlessly, but he was doing an admirable job of keeping his hips still for Percy. Deciding he'd tortured him enough, Percy closed his hand around Oliver's cock and wrapped his lips around the top, working down as far as he could comfortably go. He held Oliver down and tried to coordinate wanking Oliver with his free hand while he sucked experimentally and flattened his tongue against the underside.

Percy hadn't even had time to let his fumblings fall into a coherent rhythm before Oliver moaned and was suddenly coming, spurts of hot liquid filling Percy's mouth and dribbling down his throat and out the corners of his mouth.

Percy spluttered and lifted his head from Oliver's groin. "Don't tell me," he said. "That was horrible even for a first try, wasn't it?"

"You are unbelievable," Oliver said. "And completely amazing. That was one of the best orgasms of my life, swear to god."

Percy blushed but accepted the praise. "Speaking of orgasms..." he trailed off and indicated his own burgeoning, needy erection.

» "Let me return the favor," Oliver purred, eying Percy's cock hungrily. "I hope you've got more experience than me, at least," Percy said with a nervous laugh. (go to 6)
» Oliver leaned closer and whispered hotly in Percy's ear. "I could just suck you off and be done with it. But have you ever wondered what it's like to have a man inside you? You say yes and I'll be ready again in two seconds." Percy melted. "Oh, yes." Had he ever... (go to 7)
» "I might be too tired to move," Oliver said, the hand winding its way toward Percy's arse belying his statement. "But yeah, orgasms sound good..." (go to 10)
» "No hard feelings, Perce, but I don't know if I could get it up again if it were a matter of life or death. And you should take that as a compliment," he said, seeing Percy's crestfallen look. "It takes quite the man to tire me out. Give you a rain check?" Percy grinned. "I'll hold you to that." (go to 8)

10 Percy shifted so their bodies were aligned – mouth to mouth, shoulder to shoulder, chest to chest, cock to cock, knee to knee...

"Ow," Oliver said as his knee collided with Percy's.

"Sorry," Percy breathed, and then gasped as Oliver shifted and a spark of white fire shot up his spine as their cocks brushed together. "Fuck, now that feels good."

"You like that?" Oliver asked, his voice going all husky. Suddenly one of his large, broom-calloused hands wrapped around both their cocks, bringing them into contact along the entirety of their surprisingly evenly matched lengths.

Percy moaned and bucked into Oliver's grasp, then moaned again at the amazing slide of velvety flesh. Between a combination of Percy gyrating helplessly and Oliver wanking them both off at the same time, it wasn't long before Percy felt the tension coiling in his belly and he was about to –

"Oliver," he gasped, and then his mind was overtaken by a white hot flash of pleasure as he came and came, his release coating Oliver's hand, their cocks, their bellies...

Oliver buried his head in Percy's shoulder and wanked himself furiously, his hand sped by Percy's come on his cock. Then he was crying out and jerking against Percy's hip, coming in thick pearly strands that mixed with Percy's own come until the two were indistinguishable. He rolled away, his eyes slightly glazed over.

Percy gazed up at the bed canopy with him in a companionable silence.

"So what does that make us now... boyfriends?" he ventured.

"God, Percy, don't make it sound so bloody queer," Oliver said.

Percy looked over, alarmed, and Oliver's face split into a grin. "I'm kidding, you tosser. You can call us whatever you like as long as we get to do this again soon."

Percy rolled all the way over, half-crushing Oliver, and snogged him quite thoroughly. "Does that mean you won't let me mess around with other blokes on the side?"

"Not on your life," Oliver said, keeping a perfectly straight face. "Not unless you want a spectacular row in the common room followed by plenty of angry make-up sex."

"Hmmm," Percy said, raising an eyebrow.

Oliver smacked him lightly on the side of the head. "Don't you go getting any ideas, now."

Now, a possessive horny Oliver capable of angry sex was something Percy could handle. Definitely. Percy hummed happily and snuggled closer to his bo... Oliver. His Oliver?

(Go to 8)